Fajr Yakoub  |  Creative and Critical Writings  |  2023  |  Palestine
In this prose work, the author recounts his personal experience with kidney cancer and the year that follows the removal of his left kidney. The author undergoes MRI sessions which become a burdensome ritual, where he is injected with the radioactive substance Gadolinium to unearth the secrets of his physiology and to find out whether tumor markers have moved elsewhere in his body. This ritual, however, reveals to him that Gadolinium is banned in the European Union, the US, Canada and elsewhere in the “developed” world but is still being widely used in the developing world and recent studies show that, at the very least, it causes kidney failure.

When he reflects on the scene before him, or in other words, when he reflects on his body, he finds that the entire ordeal is a business for medical companies who import this banned substance and expose cancer patients to unnecessary extra risks. Today, when I dive deeper into this issue and I realize how late we are to begin discussing the betrayals of this modern world of humans, I know that there is something more terrifying than burying radioactive waste in the countries we live in. I know that it is all about the business of the monsters we live among, or perhaps it is the other way around, and it is us who live among them. It is a constantly moving biography that never stops killing our souls and should not stop to begin with. Something must be said so this does not become merely an unfinished autobiography.